Go to cupboard and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
Open door and remove Peter from cupboard.
Go to cupboard and retrieve wrapping paper.
Go back and remove Katie from cupboard.
Go to drawer, and collect sellotape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
Go back to drawer to get string, remove Katie and Peter who have been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
Remove present from bag.
Remove Katie from bag.
Remove Peter from bag.
Remove Katie from bag.
Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
Try and smooth out paper, realize Peter is underneath and remove.
Try and smooth out paper, realize Katie is on top and remove.
Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
Put Katie and Peter in the bag the present came in.
Place present on paper.
Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize Katie and Peter are between present and paper. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Katie.
Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing sellotape.
Remove sellotape from Peter with pair of nail scissors.
Look for roll of ribbon. Chase Katie down hall. Retreive ribbon.
Put present in a box, and wrap box with paper.
Remove paper, open box and remove Peter.
Put all wrapping materials in bag with present and head for bathroom.
Lock bathroom door.
Re-lay out paper and materials in shower.
Remove Peter from box, unlock bathroom door, put cat outside bathroom door, close and relock.
Lay out paper.
Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for paper which has not been torn.
Return to bathroom room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.
Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.
Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cats.
Spend 15 minutes looking for Katie until coming to obvious conclusion.
Unwrap present, untie box and remove Katie.
Buy a giftbag.
Merry Christmas, love, Katie and Peter