Quite against all expectations I have a date. Of sorts. I won't bore you with the details but some poor fool is determined to spend a day with me whereby I must dazzle him with my wit and originality, not to mention my imagination and charm. I haven't done this since I was a teenager and, as we all know, things were so much simpler then. Cinema, pizza hit - job's a good 'un. Now things seem far more complicated. Do I have to be my perfect self for 24 hours? I don't know who I am from one minute to the next at the best of times - now I have to create an itinerary that encapsulates my essence in a single day? And is that even a good idea?

Anyway, probably because of my job and possibly because of my borderline mental health issues I can not resist the need to over plan this. Obviously spontaneity is far sexier than anything I can muster on a spreadsheet but I'm pretty sure the soon-to-be-disappointed boy in question doesn't read this so I can fake that, right? Right?