Voices from the Below

Moving

2010-10-10T20:48:00.002+01:00

BTW, this blog now mostly lives at www.voicefromthebelow.com. Read it there, it will make life simpler for me! :)

Synchronicity

2010-10-10T20:44:00.000+01:00

On the 20th October last year I fell apart. There’s no need for detail here but I was devastated by something of my own making and quickly I unfurled, lowest ebb after lowest ebb, rock bottom constantly redefining.

On the 20th October this year I will be at the Manchester Blog Awards, short listed for the blog I write about the place where I live.

It’s too easy to say there’s synchronicity to this. After all I didn’t plan for the dates to be the same, nor did I plan to fall apart (although, trust me, it was a long time owing), but there is something there…something I need to acknowledge about what the last year has given me.

Like I say the mental fallout was long overdue. Again, no need for details but I was profoundly unhappy and mentally self-medicating in ways that were destroying things that I held very dear. Coming apart at the seams was ugly, brutal and exhausting but it also presented me with an opportunity, albeit one that I’ve only started to see with the last few months’ hindsight. In living my life the wrong way for so long, being taken to the point of no return and spat out unceremoniously on the kerb-side it was clear that something had to change. Therapy did that. Or at least it helped. A lot. I could go on for ages about how therapy is right for some people and not for others and I know enough practicing psychologists to realise how entirely un-fallible they really are but for me it works. It undid the unbelievable mess of knots in my mind and allowed me to finally start dealing with what lay underneath.

But I digress. Opportunities. Potential.

Trust me, I didn’t always see it this way. The things I lost were mourned at great and undignified length but somehow, eventually, they became…of the past. I miss them, but only in so much in as I miss the ignorance of how damaging they were to me. I sometimes miss a person but I no longer believe I need that person. At the heart of it all, over time, came the realisation that I needed to start living this life, not just hoping for it to happen if only “someone” would "make" me "happy". Reading that back, I am astounded by how closely the literal interpretation of that matches what happened next. Clearly I needed to start loving where I lived figuratively – my own mental health issues, the things I had lost, the things I had left – and then one day an opportunity presented itself for me to do that in actuality.

LoveLevenshulme is a community grassroots project started a few years ago by Matt Clements, a resident who wanted to encourage the people of Levenshulme to see the beauty around them. Matt and his family were up and leaving Levy for the West Midlands and he put a shout out for someone to take over. Without much of a backwards glance I signed up. I don’t know why. All of the above would indicate a deeply perceptive sense of kismet but, frankly, I’m not that clever, nor was I “ready” at the time. I just did it.

And here I am. Three months later LoveLevenshulme has opened up so many doors for me. My fellow LoveLev-er Tim Simmonds and I went on the radio last week to talk about the project and I was asked what my favourite thing about Levenshulme was. I shamefacedly gave the predictable “the people” response, but it’s true – working on the blog has brought me into contact with so many good, good people who are using their creativity and enthusiasm to brighten their corner of the world. I’ve discovered a community spirit I didn’t know existed in an urban, economically disparate landscape and, quite simply, in telling people why they should love the place where they live, I’ve learned to love it myself.

Now I’m not saying that means we deserve to win any awards. After all, it’s a pretty selfish reason to be emotionally tied to blog which is supposed to be about community and I really don’t think the whole “this blog saved my life” angle is a dignified one for the author to be working. That’s why this goes here and not on LoveLevenshulme. The blog in itself is good I think, I’m proud of it and I enjoy working with Tim on it. I think we serve our central aim well and, although I don’t make any grand claims*, I like to think that it is contributing in a small way to some of the changes that are happening around Levenshulme. If those are compelling enough reasons for us to win then so be it, if not then it will continue to serve its purpose for the people of Levenshulme and that’s plenty to be pleased about.

So why am I writing this? Because I’m proud, I guess. Because there I people I hope will read it as a thank you. Because I think there’s a strange kind of beauty in what’s happened and for the first time in my life I can see it. Because I am happy.

*When I first moved to Levenshulme around 8 years ago I was told it was “the new Chorlton”. I have been told this many times since (mostly by estate agents). It is not true, in case you were wondering. We’re cooler.

I...Don't Like Cupcakes. There. I said it.

2010-09-17T22:35:00.003+01:00

A disclaimer, first of all. People I know and like very much have made cupcakes which I have eaten and enjoyed. They are fun food; sweet and silly snacks - the effort that goes into making them for friends is a gesture, for me at least, more touching than the food produced. The objections I outline below are more about the elevation of the cupcake to (faux) cuisine and its incumbent - to my mind, false - symbolism of a food-loving culture. To those of you who make cupcakes for fun times, please don't be hurt, this isn't about you. You all exude Nigella Lawson-esque sexpottyness without having to try one iota.

Well of course I don’t hate cupcakes. They are, after all, cake. The delicate combination of a wodge of carbohydrate and a dollop of fat melts on my tongue the same way as it does for any human being. It tastes nice. It tastes good, even, but - and here’s the key - it rarely tastes interesting.

I like food. I don’t count myself as a trailblazer in any way (my offal curiosity blanches somewhat at anything that handles bodily waste), or even a particularly engaged foody but I do prefer the food I put in my mouth to taste of food. Fresh vegetables, juicy fruit, rich meat, creamy dairy; they’re all flavours that can be combined to the limits of your creativity to engender sensations that teeter at the edge of your imagination but still surprise and delight in actuality. And what is the cupcake? Well it’s sponge. Plain sponge. It is sweet and carby and fatty but it’s not exciting. And buttercream. Buttercream is sugar and fat. Our cave-man brains like sugar and fat and so our taste buds like them too, but is there any complexity or depth of flavour in refined sugar? Does a glug of vegetable oil burst on your tongue like a just-picked raspberry? No.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that many cup-cake bakers go to great lengths to source good quality ingredients and make interesting additions to their cupcakes but the formula is there and so rarely diverted from that cupcakes essentially come in three forms:

Cupcake
Cupcake with added (usually artificial and lacklustre) flavourings
Cupcake with pathalogically pretty decorations

If you’re lucky you might get all three but underneath the window dressing (the equivalent of making your dog wear a tutu and tiara) you’ll still be left with the same basic sponge and butter cream that couldn’t hold a candle to a strawberry and dark chocolate torte or a pistachio and apricot roulade.

Then there is the culture of the cupcake. The wave of sprinkles and red velvet (an elaborately evocative name for what is essentially sponge with red food colouring) that has swept through the UK has left a wake of press releases citing “Emily’s love of baking” and “Susie’s passion for all things sweet”. Have you been to a launch or opening recently? The canapes have let themselves go and bloated to tooth-achingly sweet concoctions of infinite colour and self-proclaimed grandeur but only one flavour. Sweet.

I’m blogging about this mainly because I’m shocked to find myself one of only a very few dissenting voices, and the only woman I know of. It seems that cupcakes are universally liked, and the love of cupcakes has become as much a by-word for “I’m a girl, me” as the near-compulsory shoes’n’bags obsession. Somehow “i love cupcakes” appears to have become shorthand for “i love food, no really i do” as if by loving something so safe, so anodyne as an unexceptional bit of flavourless cake imbues you with the same sexual gluttony as Nigella Lawson fellating a cream-covered whisk. It doesn’t. As a woman, saying you love food and using cupcakes as proof is like saying you love film and citing the Sex and The City movies as your touchstone influence. Maybe that’s true, maybe it is, but if that’s you, really, I beg of you, watch Magnolia and revel in a full-blooded taste sensation.

It’s about that cupcake shop in New York. Honest.

Today's theme is becoming rapidly apparent

2010-01-16T13:15:00.001Z

Anecdotal Evidence is not provable

2010-01-16T13:11:00.000Z

Down with this sort of Brains

2010-01-13T22:44:00.001Z

Eating Animals

2010-01-05T10:33:00.001Z

Jonathan Safran Foer?s Eating Animals (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_animals) is being published in the UK in March. Pretty timely for me; the arguments for turning vegetarian are stacking up at the moment and I suspect by March I won?t need much pushing.

I?ve never been a vegetarian, which I think surprises some people. I?m a girl, I love animals, I?m fairly left-leaning and I had a troubled adolescence ? classic ingredients really. I have played with the idea on several occasions but always fallen short of making that step. I?d like to say that I had really justified my omnivourousness to myself but in recent years I?ve realised that my half-hearted arguments about the incompleteness of the vegetarian diet were just that. Laziness and a lack of willingness to submit to inconvenience have taken me so far, not because the arguments for vegetarianism have been (for me) compelling, but because I was unwilling to research them properly.

A friend once pointedly told me that for every gram of cocaine sold in the UK someone in the developing nations involved in it?s production died. I doubt the exactitude of this fact but the fact remains ? non-medicinal drugs are totally unnecceasry luxury of those who can afford to subsidise the killing of other human beings for their pleasure. Meat is a totally unnecceasry luxury for those who can afford it. I suspect that when the cost is laid out for me my conclusions will be inevitable?

More to follow, I guess?

Back

2010-01-05T10:30:00.001Z

Hello anyone who still bothers following this. No apologies and no surprises. Last year was a hard year and I didn?t have the emotional energy to give to being imaginative here as well. Anyway, life is brighter this side of the decade divide so I will be blogging a bit more often.

Nice Mice

2009-10-25T05:15:00.001Z

It is nice waking to hear my two cats playing under the bed. Not so nice when I realise they are playing with a half dead mouse which I will inevitably have to retreive and put out of it's misery. I thought I'd managed to get around the whole complicit cruelty to small animals implication of cat ownership when i discovered that K&P love non-applicator tampons. And I mean LOVE - could spend hours chasing one around the house. Unfortunately, it seems they've wised up to my little scheme - a bird and three little baby mice so far this week :(

Why Haven't I Been Blogging

2009-05-21T14:27:00.001+01:00

Why, Twitter of course! Here's what I've been blathering about:
http://www.wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/871314/1

To the Geography King

2009-02-14T12:18:00.002Z

I'm waiting. XO.

R-A-G-E

2009-02-12T17:02:00.003Z

I just, and only just, persuaded myself not to flame someone who really, really deserved it.

On another note - Peter just brought me in a baby bird which, unfortunately, was not entirely dead by the time he brought it to my attention (by jumping into my lap and yowling with pride) so I had to prise it from his jaws (no mean feat, I tell you) and then wring its neck. He's now clearly very angry with me and with Katie for some reason. She keeps trying to play with him and he just huffs and walks away with a little "i have put away such childish things" shrug of his shoulders. Poor Katie she looks very desolate and, alas, she's such a little bird brain it will probably always be like this now - she wouldn't recognise a mouse if it bit her on the nose.

My Real Dad

2009-02-07T13:50:00.002Z

Shamelessly stolen from Bandmoreagain

Cheap and beautiful

2009-02-03T21:57:00.002Z

I'm usually immune to such things but for the last two years I've been buying this very good, but very expensive product:

It's great, it makes my skin feel amazing, banishes the dreaded "body spots", the smell relaxes me and it leaves my skin smelling sexy for days. But it costs over a tenner for a pot that lasts a few months.

So, in the interests of my own personal credit crunch (what do you mean I can't borrow any more money? When did this happen?) I've been experimenting with replicating it. Well, I say experimenting. I mean experiment. It took me exactly 5 minutes to replicate the product exactly. And the ingredients cost about £2.50. I'm feeling so unbelievably smug I'll replicate the recipe here:

Ingredients
Sunflower oil
Table salt
Scent (I hesitate to use the phrase homo therapy) oils to preference

Method
Mix half a cup of the oil with a cup of the salt
Stir to form a thick paste, about toothpaste consistency
Add the oils - I used a few drops each of lavender and sandalwood but you could use eucalyptus or citrus if you wanted something more energising or tea tree if you have skin problems

That's it! Like I say I'm feeling very smug. Not least because it means I've broken the hold of yet another unnecessary, overpriced item of consumption. And I smell lovely!

Meat is Murder

2009-02-03T17:08:00.002Z

Dignity?

Mine, not his. I've looked at this at least three times now.

Country Grinds To Halt etc

2009-02-02T16:38:00.003Z

Actually, everywhere, it seems, apart from Manchester. We've got about an inch of snow and no one's leaving work. Mostly because we are NAILS.

Obviously I have reverted, as always in such situations, to a nightmare school child. I've spent the whole afternoon staring out of the window and moaning loudly whenever a ~~teacher~~ director comes near that it's not fair and we should be allowed to go home. This has obviously endeared me greatly to my colleagues.

Obviously the real reason I want to go home is not because the journey will be dangerous or that I am in any way fearful for my ability to get home if I leave later…two words:

Kittens

Snow

Nuff said.

Bristol Lido

2009-02-01T14:00:00.002Z

Don't get me wrong, I love lidos and I love Victorian lidos that have been sympathetically restored and obviously I'll go when I'm next down that way but did they really have to make it so expensive? £15.00 for a three-hour swimming session is clearly designed to discourage anyone but the well-off from visiting and undermines the municpal intention of the original structure.

Roll on the completion of Victoria Baths...

Fantasy Holidays I Will Probably Never Go On Part 7

2009-02-01T13:51:00.002Z

A Weekend Camping at Featherdown Farm Days at Bala Lake.

Bala Lake is one of my favourite places in North Wales and North Wales is one of my favourite places in the UK so the prospect of camping in a traditional canvas tent with featherdown beds, Victorian toilet, wood burning stove and no electricity excites me greatly. Add to that the wood smoker for fish or meat, eggs collected from the barn every morning and spending time with animals on a working farm and I'd be in hog heaven.

Radiohead's Creep by MS Songsmith

2009-02-01T11:36:00.000Z

2009-01-28T10:53:00.002Z

Quite against all expectations I have a date. Of sorts. I won't bore you with the details but some poor fool is determined to spend a day with me whereby I must dazzle him with my wit and originality, not to mention my imagination and charm. I haven't done this since I was a teenager and, as we all know, things were so much simpler then. Cinema, pizza hit - job's a good 'un. Now things seem far more complicated. Do I have to be my perfect self for 24 hours? I don't know who I am from one minute to the next at the best of times - now I have to create an itinerary that encapsulates my essence in a single day? And is that even a good idea?

Anyway, probably because of my job and possibly because of my borderline mental health issues I can not resist the need to over plan this. Obviously spontaneity is far sexier than anything I can muster on a spreadsheet but I'm pretty sure the soon-to-be-disappointed boy in question doesn't read this so I can fake that, right? Right?

Left Hand Love

2009-01-21T21:03:00.000Z

Want! Want!

2009-01-21T19:47:00.003Z

Super Mario Land Etched Eee.

Is there actually anything cooler?

What on EARTH are you doing?! Go and fix Vista!

2009-01-20T13:22:00.002Z

Baring in mind I've been thinking about switching my allegiance to Mac for a while now I think this counts as not only the final nail in the coffin, but also the 6ft of earth being shoveled onto the top.

I May Have Been Some Time

2009-01-15T17:15:00.002Z

Really, when you write more posts apologising for not posting enough than actual posts it's time to have a word with yourself.

That said, my New Years resolution was to do as many new things as possible in 2009 (not flog this old horse, but still...)maybe some of you are interested. Ha. The following are all more or less in progress (funds pending):

Go to a European festival (Melt in Germany in July, if you're interested)
Go to the Edinburgh Festival
Go to ATP
Skydive for charity
Take a photography class
Enter the Great North Swim
Volunteer
Learn to Kayak

Any more suggestions?

Wiki My Weekend

2008-12-22T11:19:00.003Z

Myself, the boy and a select few friends are going to Edinburgh for a long weekend at the festival in August 2009.

In the spirit of adventure I have decided to ditch the guidebook for this trip (this from a woman who once took two Lonely Planets and a Rough Guide for two days in Berlin) and rely entirely on mobile internet (note to self: get some form of mobile internet before the festival) and recommendations.

With that in mind I've created a customisable Gmap with the intention of using it as a guide to bars, clubs, restaurants and sites of interest. Obviously, I don't know where to go - although I have gathered some information from the Guardian travel website - so I'd be extremely grateful if you could add your recommendations (or condemnations), preferably with a picture, relevant URL and a short summary.

Click on the picture below to be taken to the map.

View Larger Map

Please try and keep consistency with my symbols:

Pub/bar - a cocktail glass
Restaurant - a knife and fork
Club - a dancing man - in my mind anyway - why is there no universally recognised symbol for club?!
Site of interest/museum - a camera
Venue/theatre - comedy/tragedy masks

Although, obviously, if you find something uncatagorizable, feel free to add your own.

Once the festival line-up is announced I'll start looking at ways of collaborating on our schedule of what to see, so kudos in advance to the person who persuades me to see any kind of musical theatre.

Wrapping Presents with Katie and Peter

2008-12-16T14:18:00.003Z

Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

Go to cupboard and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

Open door and remove Peter from cupboard.

Go to cupboard and retrieve wrapping paper.

Go back and remove Katie from cupboard.

Go to drawer, and collect sellotape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

Go back to drawer to get string, remove Katie and Peter who have been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

Remove present from bag.

Remove Katie from bag.

Remove Peter from bag.

Remove Katie from bag.

Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

Try and smooth out paper, realize Peter is underneath and remove.

Try and smooth out paper, realize Katie is on top and remove.

Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

Put Katie and Peter in the bag the present came in.

Place present on paper.

Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize Katie and Peter are between present and paper. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Katie. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Peter. Remove Katie.

Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing sellotape.

Remove sellotape from Peter with pair of nail scissors.

Look for roll of ribbon. Chase Katie down hall. Retreive ribbon.

Put present in a box, and wrap box with paper.

Remove paper, open box and remove Peter.

Put all wrapping materials in bag with present and head for bathroom.

Lock bathroom door.

Re-lay out paper and materials in shower.

Remove Peter from box, unlock bathroom door, put cat outside bathroom door, close and relock.

Lay out paper.

Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for paper which has not been torn.

Return to bathroom room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cats.

Spend 15 minutes looking for Katie until coming to obvious conclusion.

Unwrap present, untie box and remove Katie.

Buy a giftbag.

Merry Christmas, love, Katie and Peter

You Tube - Actually Good

2008-11-13T13:11:00.001Z

YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video

Daily Hate Hate

2008-11-13T11:15:00.003Z

As pointed out by Polly Toynbee, by way of minifig. Paul Dacre is a horrid, worrying little man.

That said, for the last week my opinions appear to have sponsored by middle-england.

On bonfire night a firework was thrown into my front garden; mildly alarming me and terrifying the kittens. Then over the weekend my back gate was kicked in.

What annoys me about these (barely) crimes is the pointlessness of both - the lad who threw the firework was alone and (from my dim remembrances of the joy of teenage gangs) could not have gained all that much pleasure without a few others to egg him on and, on breaking down my gate, the person who did it could easily have broken in (to my very flimsy conservatory) but chose instead to simply leave it in tatters.

The best conclusion I can draw is that these people have nothing better to do with their time..mindless youth...what kind of society etc. etc.

Incidentally, this segues nicely into themarpleleaf's story about fare dodgers on the train to London which he recounted to me with the comment "it's these types from Levenshulme, you know". The cheek!

Charlie Brooker on Vegas

2008-10-31T16:32:00.002Z

Like a blowjob taking place seconds before a mushroom cloud appears on the horizon.

There's a strange part of me that wants to go Vegas. I'd hate it but I think I'd end up forcing myself to completely disengaging my ego in order to survive and that would be quite interesting, like going on a holiday from thought...

And Another Thing

2008-10-29T19:04:00.003Z

Far be it for me but isn't this a very neat way for the BBC to recover some of the dignity it lost when the pay packets of it's stars were reavled earlier in the year?

24,000 complaints so far, which is interesting, since the show doesn't attract anywhere near that many listeners and the podcast and listen again were removed earlier this week...

Russell Brand Resigns

2008-10-29T18:58:00.002Z

Oh for goodness sake.

It should be noted, at this point, that well over half of Russell Brand's shows this year have been broadcast from the states or not at all because of his work commitments and that his co-host has been in the US for well over a month with no news of a return. For the last few months I've been waiting for a resignation simply because it's not worth his while continuing to do the show, so at least he gets some publicity out of this, the non-news story of the year.

Vitriol for The Day

2008-10-29T17:24:00.002Z

People who buy the Daily Mail knowing full well that it speaks not the truth are buying into a culture of ignorance and misinformation. Chosing to be ill-informed and to support a media that peddles lies and breeds hate becuase that hatred is more entertaining than the truth is beyond contempt.

Half a Rant, Half a Rave

2008-10-29T16:55:00.002Z

There are people I love working with and there are people I hate working with and without fail the people I love working with are the people who like their jobs.

Yesterday I went to a meeting with a company whose employees clearly loved working there, were brimming over with ideas and loved hearing new ones, then I discussed our ideas with a colleague who also enjoys what he does and he enthused further and embraced the ideas and gave me the tools to push them forward. In the space of an afternoon I felt like we'd revitalised our relationship with a client, refreshed an event that was in danger of getting lost amid our hectic schedules and restored a bit of my own faith in my ability to make ideas happen, simply becuase of other people.

Put simply, if the people around me didn't love their jobs, then neither would I.

Lovemarks

2008-10-29T15:17:00.004Z

Inspired by his speech at our North West Creative Forum a few weeks back, I bought a copy of Kevin Roberts' Lovemarks. It looks like the kind of coffee table book you'd want to hit a hairdresser with but is actually a thoughtful and interesting take on branding and how it affects our lives.

You can find a much more elequent explaination of what a Lovemark is here but, to my mind, a Lovemark is a brand that I trust beyond reason, a brand that I never doubt, a brand that, even if does something I don't like, I can shrug my shoulders and say "I'll grow into it" or "it will make sense in a few years".

Here is my personal list of Lovemarks.

DKNY
Lego
Habitat
Vaseline
Wii
Brett Easton Ellis
Coronation Street
Bliss Cosmetics
Red Stripe
MAC
Esprit
Technics
Camper
Talking Heads
Whiskers
Topshop
Lost
Apple
Marble Brewery
Felix da Housecat
Norsk Vodka
Dr Who
Nintendo
Arne Jacobson
Sara Lee
Yorkshire Tea
John Lewis
Belle & Sebastian
Google
HBO
The RI Christmas Lectures
Le Creuset
Morrissey
Wired Magazine
Bose
American Apparel
Volkswagen
Helvetica
Virgin Atlantic
Marmite
Fujifilm
Worms (the game)
Mario Kart
Lonely Planet
Stephen Fry
Grassmere Gingerbread
Del Monte
The Wire
Black Sambucca
St Etienne
Havianas
Campari
Marrakech
Norman Foster
MUJI
The Sanctuary, Covent Garden
Erasure
More4
Julia Roberts
W Hotels
Oxford Marmalade
Vivienne Westwood
Bergen Bread
Penguin
Eastpak
Dyson
Radiohead
Sailor Jerrys Rum
Veuve Cliquot
Heals
Mandarina Duck
Kenneth Cole
Emirates
Franz Ferdinand
Converse
Berlin

Phew.

Satanic Sluts

2008-10-29T14:53:00.003Z

Just a thought.

Really, if you're in a "burlesque dance troupe" called The Satanic Sluts, you don't have much right to complain when someone tells your granddad that you've shagged Russell Brand, even if it is on the radio.

I understand the need not to encourage young people to harass one another on the phone but the BBC are so frightened of criticism they're strangling their ability to take any risks whatsoever.

Nice Bit of Cake

2008-10-27T21:32:00.002Z

From the Adam and Joe 6Music show.

Having lamented the fact that digital radio doesn't allow for the random interjections from pirate radio shows anyone who's ever driven around London at night will recognise, the boys have started inserting snippets of pirate into their show. This isn't my favourite ("big up to me grandma! 'ELLO GRANDMA") but is an extended version of one of the best.

Overdue Lift Moan

2008-10-27T16:54:00.006Z

With apologies to my esteemed colleague to told me to blog about this some weeks ago...

I work on the 8th floor of our office building. The 8th floor is the top floor. These are my rules about what I will chose to be annoyed by in reference to users of the lift from other floors in the bullding:

Anyone who works on the 1st or 2nd floor should take the stairs up unless they have a noticeable disability (if your disability is not noticeable then tough, get a proper disability or expect my silent seething).

The person who actually queued in front of some of my colleagues to get a lift to the 1st floor last week - you could at least have had the decency to look ashamed of yourself.

People who are travelling to the employment tribunals service on the 4th floor - it's OK, I don't work there, you can drop the hammed-up limp and the shallow breathing.

Anyone who works on the 4th floor down should take the stairs down.

When I arrive at your floor in the middle of the building and I tell you the lift is going up, that is NOT an invitation for you to join me in a fun ride up and down the building. I don't want to spend any more time than is strictly necessary in what is effectively a cupboard with a stranger. Why do you?

People who work for the company who have offices on the 1st and 7th floor should have their own dedicated lift - it's too annoying stopping one floor away from my departure point AND my destination for you.

"Service Lift - Do Not Use" does not apply to me.

Mr Fogg Bandstocks

2008-10-27T16:49:00.003Z

I just bought Bandstocks for the first time.

http://www.bandstocks.com/Artist.htm?UserId=911

Never done it before but I'm on the email list for Mr Fogg, I really like all his songs and I've communicated quite a lot with him through his myspace and have been moaning about his lack of album for some time so now it looks like he's going to do it with Valgeir Sigurdsson (Björk, mum) I thought I ought to r.e.p.r.e.s.e.n.t.

I'm fairly dubious about the worth of my investment but I guess, like in Vegas, if you don't expect to win anything you can't lose. And it's only a tenner minimum investment.

If you don't want to invest at least check out his myspace and listen to my favourite song, Stung.

How To Debate Modern American Politics

2008-10-03T17:07:00.002+01:00

Single

2008-09-30T09:52:00.004+01:00

Being single, it emerges, actually blows. Big time.

Dates are a waste of time. Actually, unless you live in Hollywood, dates are a complete misnomer once you're over 25 and clearly able to make decisions about the sort of persons you want to have sex with in a relatively short space of time.

As far as I can see, the only purpose of a "date" in 2008 is to establish a mutual agreement that, while you will have sex at some point, the fact that you can wait for a movie to finish and a meal to be eaten before making lurid proposals means that you are not a pair of total scumbags. This is called "respect".

Alternatively, as a single 27 year old, you can expect to be hit on by friends or colleagues who are already in relationships, because - well, you're just out for some fun, right?

The length of the sentences in this piece are inversely proportional to the amount of fun I am having being single.

The A of Creation

2008-09-30T09:42:00.004+01:00

Really, I've no excuse not to be blogging when I've been sitting on this little beaut.

Several notable persons in our office have recently been sent a copy of The Atlas of Creation by Global Publishing of Istanbul (interestingly, they appear to have picked on directors mostly - perhaps they think they're more easily swayed in the way of rubbish islamic creationist zealotry). The book purports to undermine evolution theory, comparing fossils to - supposedly identical - living species, obviously ignoring some of the very basic precepts of the argument for evolution and in the process making a number of factual errors:

"The fossil record is perhaps the most important evidence that demolishes the theory of evolution's claims. Fossils reveal that life forms on Earth have never undergone even the slightest change and have never developed into one another. Examining the fossil record, we see that living things are exactly the same today as they were hundreds of millions of years ago—in other words, that they never underwent evolution. Even during the most ancient periods, life forms emerged suddenly with all their complex structures–with the perfect and superior features, just as do their counterparts today."

It is a stonker of a tome - weighing in at 12lb (I weighed it on a friend's bathroom scales after it actually broke the handles of the bag usually holding my gym kit) - all glossy paper and hologramatic cover. The cost of postage alone boggles the mind, especially when you bare in mind that this book has been sent to tens of thousands of universities, schools and research facilities all over Europe (although, why they sent it to us is anyone's guess - the UK's largest regional business publisher doesn't have much of a religious agenda, even though we do like holograms).

Obviously the fact of its existence isn't that shocking, you only need to read the news to discover that creationism is on not only on the upsurge but also being backed by some serious financial weight. The question we are left with is how to deal with this?

The "author" of the Atlas of Creation is a convicted sex-offender with a history of anti-Semitic writing and he clearly has a lot of money behind him. He managed to get the Turkish government to block Richard Dawkin's website and has issued countless libel suits against news websites in the middle east. Is it appropriate to ignore it? Is it really enough to laugh at the silliness of his anti-evolutionary claims?

I'm not pre-supposing an answer here. I, for one, certainly don't know one - blogging to a small group of like-minded liberals is hardly a protest and (I'm ashamed to admit) I'm slightly scared even writing this.

Anyway, the Atlas of Creation has solved one problem for me - I'm sure my geneticist friends will appreciate a bit of humour in their Christmas stockings.

Name Check Check

2008-09-12T23:09:00.003+01:00

Manchizzle, the acme of blogging in the rainy city, has seen fit to give me a bit of a name check, for which I am blushingly proud and also rather shamefaced about, considering that at the time I was big-upped I hadn't actually blogged anything for about two weeks.

I should also point out that my ongoing stupid template problems mean that I have lost all of my links to other sites, so please take this is a spiritual link to Manchizzle, until such time as order is resotered.

Mapping Creativity

2008-09-12T22:52:00.003+01:00

Despite the ubiquitous media-wank copy, Mapping Creativity by bTWEEN is a very interesting project seeking applications for a £25,000 grant to commission an "interactive project that drives Manchester's collective creativity".

In short, this has given rise to some interesting (and some more hackneyed) proposals for interactive projects that engage different social groups in Manchester. There are some clever ideas and some things I have seen done before but I really hope the judges fulfil their own remit and commission something that facilitates and forges "links between disconnected communities" using technology. It's a very worthy but slightly dubitable ask.

Where Have You Been?

2008-09-09T16:29:00.002+01:00

Well mostly, I've been shouting at length at a blog template, thus not much blogging in these here parts for the last few weeks.

Never mind that though, I've given up and gone back to a very boring Blogger template (and for some reason Blogger, in the process, has decided I'm Spanish) to facilitate the much blogginess that should happen soon. Oh the stories I have to tell...

Me. Today

2008-08-26T18:30:00.002+01:00

Torchwood to Follow Single Story Arc

2008-08-26T18:25:00.001+01:00

Says the BBC, and they would know.

Won't make it any less shit, though.

Boy Friends

2008-08-25T21:04:00.003+01:00

Most of my friends are boys. My best friend is a boy. These are some things I don't like about spending as much time as I do with boys:

Being laughed at for being scared of anything, ever.
Conversations about Star Trek.
Being corrected, constantly.
Advice that bears no relation to the problem in hand.
Seeing lots of cool t-shirts which I could never wear.
The constant assertion that there are "no funny female stand-up comics".
Being told I can't cook.
Being expected to cook.
Getting told I am going to a gig "like, now" and not being allowed to get changed, have dinner, brush my teeth etc.
The look of pride that most boys sport when they've been particularly obnoxious about women in general in front of one another.
The refusal to admit that might just be better than them at...well, anything, really.
Realising that real people actually want to have sex with Paris Hilton.

Gig-Rollin Autumn 2008

2008-08-22T16:04:00.003+01:00

This list will probably be added to but for now the forecast is - giggy with some showers:

Friday 29th August - David Cronenberg's Wife - The Deaf Institute, Manchester
Friday 5th September - Camera Obskura - Club Academy (The Hope and Grope to you and me), Manchester
Thursday 25th September - Fujiya Miyagi - The Deaf Institute, Manchester
Saturday 27th September- Crazy P - The Deaf Institute, Manchester
Saturday 11th October - Spiritualized - Academy, Manchester (1, probably)
Sunday 12th October - British Sea Power - The Ritz, Manchester
Friday 31st October - The Black Seeds - Academy, Manchester (either 3 or The Cellar, I expect)
Thursday 6th November - Steve Coogan - Apollo, Manchester
Sunday 9th Nctober - Fleet Foxes - Academy, Manchester (3 but it's sold out so it may move)
Saturday 15th November (and the day after my birthday...possible afterparty at mine) - Fat Feddy's Drop - Academy, Manchester (1 - woot!)
Tuesday 18th November - The Notwist - Manchester Academy
Satuday 22nd November (and a few days after the return of a certain Katie Fitz, possible Levenshulme afterparty) - Ape (DJ Yoda, Beardyman, Scratch Perverts) - The Warehouse Project, Manchester
Monday 24th November - Ladytron- (2, maybe 3)
Saturday 29th November - Delphic - Night and Day, Manchester
Tuesday 2nd December - Nouvelle Vague - Academy, Manchester (2 I should expect)
Wednesday 17th December - Stereolab - Academy, Manchester (2, maybe 1)

...and relax...phew.

A Season of Song

2008-08-22T15:37:00.002+01:00

Bandmoreagain has done sterling work and created a compilation of some of the highlights of the up-coming gig season.

Find it here.

It's a testament to the fact that there are now some really good live music venues in Manchester pulling in some excellent acts that this mix is an unprecedented two hours long. Feel free to skip a few tracks:

1. Spiritualized - Take Your Time
2. The Black Seeds - The Answer
3. Jeru The Damaja - Whatever
4. Tricky - Christiansands
5. The Notwist - Pilot
6. David Cronenberg's Wife - I Couldn't Get Off
7. Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken
8. Ladytryon - Destroy Everything You Touch
9. The Roots - I Don't Care
10. Ferrer & Sydenham - Timbuktu (Âme Beatless Mix)
11. Hercules & Love Affair - Blind (Frankie Knuckles Dub)
12. Reverend & The Makers - 18:30 (Elektrons Data Transfer)
13. Busy P - Rainbow Man
14. TTC featuring Modeselektor - Une Bande de Mec Sympa
15. The Whip - Muzzle #1
16. High Contrast - Nobody Gets Out Alive
17. Aeroplane - Aeroplane
18. Crazy Penis - I Think I Like You
19. Wu Tang Clan - Shame On A Nigga
20. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - Mustt Mustt (Massive Attack Remix)
21. Leonard Cohen - Who By Fire

I'll post my autumn listings presently.

The North IS Dreadfull

2008-08-14T09:23:00.001+01:00

But at least it's not full of Southeners.

The Daily Mash has this to say.

Days With My Father

2008-08-13T16:13:00.002+01:00

I found this account of the ravages of Alzheimer's extremely moving.

Currently Reading 13.08.08

2008-08-13T09:07:00.003+01:00

Well, read, technically, since I stayed up stupidly late last night. It's a very easy read and classic Richard & Judy's Book Club fodder but thoroughly enjoyable, none the less. I do wonder whether the setting (Afghanistan) makes it feel like a bit more of a worthy read that it is. I suspect that, were it set in Surrey, it would have more of a Joanna Trollope feel, although, to my knowledge there has been no soviet invasion or fundamentalist Muslim uprising in Dorking in the last few years.

A "boy" book this one (as you would expect from a book about Navy mine clearance), but it comes on the recommendation of a friend and is, so far, enjoyable enough. It adds, as I expected it would, to my firmly held conviction that ALL divers are thoroughly nice, bloody funny people.

Vonnegut season starts soon - I'm going to put in my Amazon order today...

This is How I Feel Today

2008-08-12T20:31:00.001+01:00

Radiohead Soundtrack for Choke

2008-08-12T16:39:00.002+01:00

Collaboration-tastic.

I would love to pretend that I actually knew that they are making a film of Choke but I didn't, which only adds to the excitement.

Britain's Missing Top Model

2008-07-30T14:54:00.003+01:00

I'm not the biggest fan of BBC3's "social" output - perhaps it's my age but I do find myself coming over all Daily Mail when I'm faced with "comedies" like Scallywagga that tick the urban ethnic minority box but fail to be funny and, in failing, do a disservice to the ethnic minorities they are trying to reach. However, last night I was enthralled and genuinely moved by the final of Britain's Missing Top Model, the culmination of a nationwide search for a disabled model.

I won't lie and say I don't know the genre and it's trashy charms - America's Next Top Model and it's world-wide sisters are all-pervading for the discerning telly-slut - and I was expecting BMTM to adopt a similar tone. At best I expect the programme to lightly touch on disabled issues and teach me that everyone is beautiful in their differences and move on, disabled box ticked.

Instead, I've witnessed informative, interesting debates about what the nature of disability is and how it affects us - all played out in an intelligent and accessible format.

I'm, of course, aware that a certain amount of caution should be applied regarding the editorial choices made in the presentation of reality TV of this kind but the most telling moment of the whole series came about three episodes in. A judge berated one of the contestants for her "difficult" behavior (which was clearly a result, in part at least, of the circumstances of her degenerative illness) and, after she had left, Wayne Hemmingway, also a judge on the show, turned on him for his "cruelty". The first judge defended his stance saying "she may be disabled but we're not here to take responsibility for her behaiviour, I'm not going to patronise her because you don't want to look bad on television".

Also interesting was watching the in-fighting between the girls, whose disabilities were many and varied. All of them had little understanding of each other's difficulties - a profoundly deaf girl was told on several occasions that her lot was "easier" and another, with a (physically symptomless) degenerative bone decease and chronic fatigue syndrome was clearly felt to be "weak" by the other contestants. On several occasions the audience was forced to think hard about the nature of disability - is one type of disability worse than another? Do we even have a right to evaluate someone's impediments until we inhabit their skin?

Ultimately, I can say that the programme changed my perceptions of disability and the issues that disabled people live with and I only hope that this is the start of other similarly intelligent programming from BBC3.

How to Neglect a Blog

2008-07-24T11:44:00.003+01:00

Courtesy of neglectful blogger par-excellance minifig.

Neglecting your blog is not as easy as it may seem. When one looks across the net, a lot of the most popular blogs have clearly not been neglected in a long time. Here are some useful pointers on how to neglect a blog.

The tools available to you allow you to neglect your blog in a lot more ways than you’ve ever been able to previously. For example, with the ability to post via email, or even just using your phone and the WordPress iPhone app, you are now able to neglect your blog from anywhere where there’s a net connection, or mobile coverage. You can be out and about, see something interesting, and fail to blog it RIGHT THERE AND THEN. This is progress.
A useful, and mildly ironic way you can neglect your blog, is through the process of finding something to blog about. “But how can this be possible?!” I hear you weep, through clenched teeth. Well, my friends, with the power of Google Reader, this is more possible than ever. Using Google Reader, you can now ensure that every time someone bleats on Digg about the fact they don’t like the new Last.fm design, you hear about it right away. Or, if you’re really using Google Reader properly, you’ll hear about it a week or so later when you’re desperately trying to catch up on all the feeds that you haven’t read and are making you feel guilty. Google Reader also provides you the chance to Star or Share items you have some vague idea that in the future you’d like to blog about. If this blog post ever happens, which it won’t, it will be so long after the fact that they internet has moved on, and you’ll have to start every post with ‘I know I’m late to this, but…’
Once you’ve been blogging for more than a few months you’ll come to realise something very important about yourself. You may think that you’re never going to learn anything important when you’re blogging, but you’re wrong. You’ll learn very shortly that you only really have about 5-7 opinions. You’ll exhaust these in the first few weeks, and as time goes by, you’ll realise that there’s no point in writing that post. You might, for example be holding your head in your hands while blood drips down your face, because every time you hear someone whinge about how they liked the old last.fm design more than the new one you feel the need to charge headfirst into the nearest stationary object. But you think, that’s essentially the same post I wrote when everyone was whinging about how they liked the old Digg design, or the old BBC News design. Face it, you really don’t have as many opinions as you thought you did. You may lament humanity’s inability to adapt even the tiniest bit yet more than you did a month ago, but you’ve still used all your ‘funniest’ metaphors.
When you started blogging, you weren’t going to be a stats whore, were you? You were writing your blog for your own benefit, right? And if people enjoyed what you did, then great, but that wasn’t why you started. You didn’t need to be popular. You didn’t need 500 people commenting on all your posts. You never wanted that Boing Boing link anyway. Doctorow’s too busy telling you about how Little Brother has now been translated into Klingon by kittens to notice you. But seven people read that 1000 word essay on how stupid people on last.fm are. Seven. And six of them spent less than 10 seconds on the page, and the seventh was searching for ‘idiot blood website whore’ on Google and probably didn’t find quite what he was looking for. I mean, being underground’s great and everything, but really you wanted the counter-cultural form of being underground, rather than the being dead kind.
Sometimes you have a great idea for a list-based blog post, but you just can’t make it into a round number. Four Reasons Why Last.Fm Users are Self-Centred, Stone-Age, Change-Fearing Morons is never going to get you on the front page of Digg is it? Digg users only go to web pages where their insane, westernised complaints about nothing can be made into a numbered list which is divisable by 5 (presumably so they can use their chubby, salt-encrusted fingers to help them count along). 4, 8, 17. These are numbers that will not help you find out how bad your web host is at dealing with insane amounts of traffic for a couple of hours.

I do hope that this post makes you realise that neglecting your blog doesn’t have to be the chore you’re becoming to believe that it is. Using these tips, we can all neglect our blogs with gay abandon, and feel at the core of our beings the guilt and loss of self-worth that this brings.

Now I Like The Wire...

2008-07-22T10:59:00.004+01:00

...But goodgodjesus if I read one more article in the Guardian about how it is actually the television manifestation of chocolate-covered oral sex I will scream. One article which did make me smile though -

New Prostate Cancer Drug Not as Good as The Wire

An experiment

2008-07-15T17:03:00.001+01:00

That basically proves that Johnny doesn't read my blog any more. Knew it.

Vonnegutting

2008-07-15T16:36:00.002+01:00

One of the things I miss about reading for study is the sensation of falling for an author and devouring them - among others, Douglas Coupland shaped my sixth-form existence and my third year of university was made all the more perverted and perverse by Chuck Palahniuk.

Last year I read The Sirens of Titan about two weeks before Kurt Vonnegut's death (completely co-incidentally, honest) and enjoyed it so much that I'm planning a bit of a Vonnegut-fest for this autumn. Anyway, here's a choice quote from Mother Night to give you a measure of the man:

Drawn crudely in the dust of three window-panes were a swastika, a hammer and sickle, and the Stars and Stripes. I had drawn the three symbols weeks before, at the conclusion of an argument about patriotism with Kraft. I had given a hearty cheer for each symbol, demonstrating to Kraft the meaning of patriotism to, respectively, a Nazi, a Communist, and an American. "Hooray, hooray, hooray," I'd said.

Oh and feel free to visit my Amazon Wish List if you'd like to donate to my worthy cause ;)

Designer Wellies

2008-07-15T14:07:00.002+01:00

Oh it's wrong, oh it's so so wrong, wronger than personalised number plates or expensive handbags but, oh, I want some Hunter wellies.

Weekend of Books

2008-07-15T10:27:00.004+01:00

The weekend in dear, dear Ipswich necessitated the expected amount of train travel which , in turn, necessitated a lot of reading. In the last few years I've fallen into the habit of only reading at bedtime (for no more noble reason than I tend to spend my bus journey to and from work in the world of iPod and my evenings either working or socialising) but this weekend I spent a good 10 hours, all told, immersed in Bit of a Blur - Alex James' dense account of his years as part of Blur - and On Chesil Beach - the Ian McEwan Booker Prize nominated novella.

Bit of a Blur was a fun read - an unexpectedly well written romp through britpop from the inside. I was surprised about at how little nostalgia it stirred in me - although too young and too provincial to have really been a part of britpop, I watched avidly from the sidelines and was there in my own small way. I do remember being furious at not being allowed to go to Mile End but I made several pilgrimages to The Good Mixer, the Camden pub where Graham Coxon famously held court. Essentially, though, as James (who I never met) reminds me, the spirit of louche cleverness of the people involved and their inimitable sense of cool was never going to be mastered by a 13 year old private school girl from Ipswich, no matter how hard she tried.

Anyway, I love Ian McEwan.

I always feel he's at his best with partnerships - the kinship-resentment of long term friendship played out in Amsterdam makes it easily one of my favourite books and On Chesil Beach bests even that. Maybe it owes a little to my joy at rediscovering the pleasure of unencumbered reading but this soaring, tragic love story lifted and broke me in a way I wasn't expecting. If you haven't already (and, admittedly, I'm a good 18 months late on this one), go read.

Thanks a Bunch Cracked...

2008-07-11T14:13:00.001+01:00

...For pointing out that this weekend someone, somewhere will pay to see Meet Dave (the new Eddie Murphy movie), that's my Friday joie de vivre ruined.

Working at 4.00am Isn't Really Working

2008-07-11T11:46:00.002+01:00

I'm more or less consistently on GMT but bandmoreagain lives in a state of constant flux between Pacific and EDT which causes no end of grumpy exchanges.

2008-07-11T11:32:00.008+01:00

Another Reason To Look Forward to The Big Chill

2008-07-08T20:36:00.008+01:00

At more or less this exact moment me and bandmoreagain were meeting a lovely lady by the name of Amy Wright who we somehow persuaded to give hugs to a group of people who we somehow persuaded to queue up to receive them.

My Dad's Mick Ronson or Mick Jones or Someone, Right?

2008-07-08T19:07:00.005+01:00

Mark Ronson gets his pretty little knickers in a Glastonbury-sized twist.

Now I'm never one to disagree with anyone who calls NME journalists "morons" (in classic house style the offending article's description of Mark Ronson's work as “a bunch of nauseating oily sub-lounge covers” in the offending article isn't that wide of the mark, just 12 obsequious months too late) but maybe Marky really doesn't read the NME - how else would he have missed the fact that popularity in pop, for all but the very few, is fleeting and editorial integrity rare?

Monday

2008-07-07T17:04:00.003+01:00

This has to be the most Monday-ish Monday I've had in months - grey, dull and chock full of minor irritations.

The only thing worth doing now is sacking off the gym and doing a bit of window shopping.

All I Want Today

2008-07-04T13:00:00.002+01:00

Is a plain, knee-length, waistless, silk tunic or kaftan.

Answers on the back of a postcard, please.

Currently Reading 03.07.08

2008-07-03T16:36:00.003+01:00

A Home at the End of the World

Is great and won a Pulizer prize but (I've just discovered) was made into a film staring...wait for it...Colin Farrell. Yeuch!
Also, and call me a complete pleb, but I can't help comparing it to Tales From the City (even if I do find it better written, with fleshier characters and a more interesting exploration of their journeying sexuality).

The Kite Runner

Like, a billion years later than everyone else.

101 Simple Appetizers in 20 Minutes or Less

2008-07-03T16:27:00.003+01:00

Lazy = Yummy.

Once again lifehacker you've answered my prayers.

Now to become the kind of person who needs to know how to make appetizers....Or even uses the word appetizers..

Mayo

2008-06-26T16:48:00.003+01:00

From my favourite blog - SpEak You're bRanes this elicited an actual real life LOL on an otherwise gloomy day:

Thanks to Wayne and Carmen who both found this one from some blog over at The Fucking Guardian. It’s about Heinz pulling some advert that threatened the very fabric of our society.

I’m disgusted by the cowardly behaviour of Heinz in pulling the ad. Didn’t Heinz manufacture mayo for the armies of the 3rd Reich? I think I remember reading that somewhere, & the name would support it, so its not like they don’t have previous.
Denya

The best response to this is already there, a couple of comments further down:

I believe Hitler himself was mad for the mayo and regularly used it to whip up his favourite dish - the Eva Prawn Cocktail.
jonwilde

I Heart Ginnea Pigs

2008-06-26T16:21:00.003+01:00

And I heart this one best of all.

Fractal Furniture

2008-06-20T11:46:00.002+01:00

Presumably it's a bugger to clean.

2008-06-16T16:53:00.003+01:00

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

Turns out I'm not listening to much new music, which hurts my ego somewhat:

Saturday's Gone - Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan

I refuse to stop listening to this album.

Lucky Number Nine - Mouldy Peaches

I never really noticed the Mouldy Peaches first time around - a major oversight on my part - but bandmoreagain has put paid to that. Thanks.

Fucking Boyfriend - The Bird and The Bee

At least this one's only about a year old but I was saddened to learn that what I thought was my exciting discovery is already the name of a club night in that London. And it's probably the sort of club I would hate.

What's Love Got to Do With It? - Tina Turner

My Tina love (nurtured by my early employment experiences in a call centre in Ipswich and their dubious hold-music choices) has undergone a resurgence of late, aided by the discovery that it is pretty much the only song I can deliver on Singstar without cringing.

American Boy - Estelle

To my mind this is the best pop song of the year so far. I wish I could find a better version of this Sam Sparrow cover.

Stung - Mr Fogg

I love this song so much I could cry. I write regular begging letters to his MySpace which seem to be getting somewhere - rumours of an album in August...

DVNO - Justice

Because everything Justice do is golden to me.

I'm All Going On A Summer Holiday

2008-06-16T10:15:00.004+01:00

Since money and the small matter of me fannying off to S.E. Asia for three weeks in January have prevented me from having a summer holiday this year the Big Chill is all I've got so I am hereby starting to get excited about it. Here are just some of the fantastic line-up that I am particularly excited about:

Alabama 3 unplugged
Âme (Innervisions, Germany)
Asian Dub Foundation Sound System
Ben Goldacre
Beth Orton
Bomb the Bass
Bill Bailey
BUG with Adam Buxton (Adam and Joe)
Cornelius
Daedelus (live)
Fujiya & Miyagi
Greg Wilson
Jilted John
John Hegley
Joe Hot Chip plays Hip Hop feat. Dels
John Shuttleworth
Justin Robertson
DJ Krush (live)
Leonard Cohen
Luke Vibert
Mr Scruff
Múm
Nitin Sawhney DJ set
Norman Jay
Plaid
Portico Quartet
Roisin Murphy
Roots Manuva & DJ MK
Thievery Corporation
Tom Middleton ‘Summer of Love - Classics Set’
Trentmøller Live
Unabombers
Vincent Vincent & the Villians

Currently Reading 16.06.08

2008-06-16T09:23:00.003+01:00

Will try to keep this fairly regularly updated, although I'm nowhere near articulate enough to actually review the books I read, even in my own mind.

A very non-fiction haul for me - I've been reading A Year of Living Biblically for months in a rather half-arsed way, someone gave me Stasiland about a week ago and I can't put it down and I picked up Flat Earth News last night and was immediately hooked.

I'm also eagerly awaiting the arrival of Wild Swimming from Amazon but I guess that doesn't really count as a "book I'm reading". Any suggestions for some fiction to balance this lot out?

Om Nom Nom Nom

2008-06-13T22:39:00.001+01:00

Fantasy Holidays I Will Probably Never Go On Part 5

2008-06-13T16:55:00.004+01:00

August bank holiday in Pembrokeshire staying at the TYF Eco Hotel

Itinerary would go something like this:
Friday
Take the train from work to Fishguard via my favourite train line in the world, the Crewe to Betws-y-Coed line that runs through some of the best that Snowdonia has to offer. Dusk falls as we trundle along at an appropriate place with a packed tea of home made sandwiches and treats, watching rabbits run alongside the train.
Arrive at Wales' first certified organic hotel and hang out in the bar, or maybe pop to St. Davids for a pint of Merlin's Oak
Saturday
Wake bright and early in the sunshine for a day of sit-on-top kayaking on the Pembrokeshire coast, followed by a little snorkeling and swimming in St. Bride's bay.
Return to St. Davids for dinner at The Shed, the best fish restaurant in Wales, apparently.
Sunday A morning's coasteering followed by fossil hunting and even more swimming in the Blue Lagoon at Abereiddy, an abandoned quarry with the clearest water and the best jumps from sheer granite cliffs - pictures don't do it justice...

Barbecue in the garden of TYF.
Monday
Pop round the (admittedly rather twee looking) galleries of St Davids and buy some extremely expensive ceramics then fly home in our helicopter.

At Last!

2008-06-10T11:18:00.003+01:00

My genius has been recognised. I only wonder why it took them so long:

Helen,

It is my pleasure to inform you that you are being considered for inclusion into the 2008-2009 Princeton Premier Business Leaders and Professionals Honors Edition section of the registry.

The 2008 / 2009 edition of the registry will include biographies of the world's most accomplished individuals. Recognition of this kind is an honor shared by thousands of executives and professionals throughout the world each year. Inclusion is considered by many as the single highest mark of achievement.

You may access our application form using the following link:

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?309494-M62LlkxwLF

Upon final confirmation, you will be listed among other accomplished individuals in the Princeton Premier Registry.

For accuracy and publication deadlines, please complete your application form and return it to us within five business days. There is no cost to be included in the registry.

On behalf of the Executive Publisher, we wish you continued success.
Sincerely,

Jason Harris
Managing Director
Princeton Premier

Chinese Whispers

2008-06-09T21:43:00.003+01:00

Nedroid Picture Diary has taken a while to get into but it's pretty good:

Shopping, Not Smoking

2008-06-09T21:17:00.004+01:00

I think perhaps my fairy god-parent, wherever he/she may be should buy me this dress because I LOVE it.

EMO!

2008-05-30T15:45:00.002+01:00

Turns out I am an emo after all, sartorially at least.

Blog Lazy

2008-05-30T10:17:00.002+01:00

I am aware that I have been a bit blog-lazy this month but I have been doing things instead. For example, and in no particular order:

Actually fixing an actual toilet with my bare hands.
Decorating my bedroom.
Getting a promotion and a pay rise.
Camping.
Wallpapering a bendy wall with a very geometric pattern.
Designing the artwork for lanyards, CD covers and other assorted bits for the world's best Tipi camping weekend.
Training for a 5km run.
Preparing my slightly shabby house for viewings from potential purchasers.
Working events for a total of 3500 people.

I'm a fucking superwoman, even if I did spend most of the month whining like a little toddler to friends and relations. Thank you all for your patience. :)

Bad Management #1

2008-05-28T16:38:00.004+01:00

Me: My workload is too high and, moreover, unsustainable. I am worried that something important will be missed if I keep working at this pace. The levels of stress I am enduring, not to mention my working hours, are affecting my personal life.

Boss: Why don't you come in early tomorrow and do it all then?

*Boss promptly fucks off at 4.30pm*

Fantasy Holidays I Will Probably Never Go On Part 4

2008-05-28T14:24:00.003+01:00

(But there is a distinct possibility I will actually go on this one)

19 Day Overland Tour of Egypt and Jordan

Perhaps with a nice stop off at Dahab on the way back for a spot of sea life.

8 things I want to do before I die that are on this trip:
The Egyptian Museum in Cairo
Luxor and Karnak
The Valley of the Kings
Sailing on the Nile
Abu Simbel
Mt Sinai
The Wadi Rum
Petra

Not bad for a 19 day trip. It also appears to follow a very similar route to the trip that my mum took when she was in her 20s. One of my fondest memories of childhood is her showing me photos and telling me stories about a red rose city - half as old as time.

Nowadays, however, she seems convinced that anywhere outside of northern Europe is awash with roadside bombs, so it might take some convincing to get her on side for this one.

David Tennant as Hamet

2008-05-21T22:16:00.003+01:00

"To be, or not to be, that is the question. Weeelll.... More of A question really. Not THE question. Because, well, I mean, there are billions and billions of questions out there, and well, when I say billions, I mean, when you add in the answers, not just the questions, weeelll, you're looking at numbers that are positively astronomical and... for that matter the other question is what you lot are doing on this planet in the first place, and er, did anyone try just pushing this little red button?"

Oh, how I wish I'd written that. Fortunately Neil Gaiman did it instead and I can't begrudge the man anything.

Oh, and this is not apropos of nothing - David Tennant is due to play Oedipus Dane at the RSC over the summer.

I Was an Actress...

2008-05-21T13:18:00.002+01:00

...once, for about two days - between finishing drama school and getting a job. I even had an audition for one of the most famous theatre companies in the country (nay, the world).

I wonder how many of my friends know this about me? I don't tell anyone at work and when people ask me what I did for a degree I usually evade the question but there is a bit part of me that misses telling people that I am an actress.

Not being an actress, you will note, but telling people that I am/was/will be. There are things I miss about acting itself, notably the acting - the feeling of taking a piece of text and making it alive, making it real for me and for an audience, feeling an audience respond.

But the associations with acting are not something I miss. Looking back I was always bored watching plays (how telling that I love feeling people listen to me speak but find listening to others totally un-engaging) and, as an actor, you're expected to spend as much time as possible watching other people's plays.

And actors. In my year of thirty on my drama course I think I found five people who I didn't find supremely irritating. This is not to say that all actors are idiots, quite possibly it is only drama students I find so nauseous, and even more possibly it is because they, like me, are quite boisterous and I don't like them stealing my thunder, but nauseating they are. The "Luvvies" column in Private Eye is testament to that.

Anyway, yes...I miss being a "going to be" actress. At school I was what people in the US call a "drama geek" and by all accounts a pretty good one. It was pretty much universally assumed that I'd be a actress, and probably a famous one at that. Or at least I think that was assumed - it's certainly what people said to my face but then I was a bit of a pain in the arse in those days (obviously, I'm perfect now) and I doubt I would have stood for any less. And there was certainly something pretty comforting about having such a clear and unquestioned predestination, even if it was one that didn't have any grounding in reality.

I'm glad I'm not an actress, even if the dedication in my youth has left me with middle management, it's also left me with challenges I relish and a life that, by and large, fulfills me. That being said, when one of my oldest friends berates me for giving up acting, even though I argue the toss with him, inside I enjoy the fleeting feeling of destiny.

The Most Beautiful Roads in the World

2008-05-21T07:17:00.002+01:00

Unsurprisingly US-centred list this one. And, sadly, no mention of my favourite (thank you, Roy) - the A4212 through Snowdonia - go see - Google Maps.

The Higgs Fucking Boson

2008-05-10T10:58:00.002+01:00

CERN clearly has impeccable comedic taste - inviting Chris Morris (Chris Morris!!) to speak about the Higgs Boson. Cereally, this couldn't in any way be cooler.

What's funny (to me at least) is that it is yet more evidence, as if any were needed, that I am always attracted to slightly-geeky-funny-boys - I've declared my intention to marry Morris for many years and never realised that he fits my "type" perfectly. Some more men I might marry who have a geeky side:

Charlie Brooker (wrote about gaming for years)
David Tennant (Dr. Who, duh)
Sayeed off of Lost (magically fixes all manner of technology on a giant, invisible magnet island)

It's also worth baring in mind that I have never (I mean never) had a relationship with any man who doesn't work in some kind of IT capacity.

Phwwwooooar.

WANT WANT!

2008-04-29T11:00:00.002+01:00

Outbreak of Violets on ebay.

Last time a set like this came up I believe it went for more than £1000.00. Who wants to buy it for me?

WANT!

2008-04-29T10:56:00.001+01:00

Lego computer. Kinda.

JAMES BLUNT! Ha!

2008-04-28T18:20:00.002+01:00

Full Glastonbury line-up leaked.

Well I think that pretty much vindicates my decision not to go this year. The Pyramid line up on Saturday in particular is DIRE, so much so it could almost be a joke. I have found a total of 6 acts in the whole line up that I actually want to see.

In contrast the Big Chill line up seems to be getting better every day. Woot.

My New Favourite Restaurant

2008-04-28T16:42:00.005+01:00

Is St John Bread and Wine, where I enjoyed lunch with my dear mama yesterday. I suspect that I'd enjoy their sister restaurant St John at Smithfields even more but I haven't been there yet so that remains to be seen.

I'm not given to superlatives when it comes to restaurants (probably because I live in Manchester, the biggest city in this country with no Michelin stars - for some excellent analysis on why this is see the May issue of Insider) but yesterday I ate the tangiest horseradish, the freshest sprats, the meatiest duck, the most flavoursome chicken liver, the tenderest pork, the most refreshing celeriac and the butteriest crumble I have ever tasted in my life. All this and it was served in a light, buzzy dining room by personable, unobsequious staff for less than £70.00 for two with wine.

Review - Jesus Camp

2008-04-28T15:19:00.002+01:00

I'm no pootling but I will say this:

Evangelical Christians are terribly silly.

Jason Pierce Interview

2008-04-28T15:10:00.001+01:00

Brief but worth it :)

Lego Apprentice

2008-04-25T21:07:00.002+01:00

Clearly everyone in the world has already seen this but I still love it. The prospect of an apperating Nick Hewer is utterly terrifying.

"I have an IQ of 170" "Yeah, alright"

Time Warner Watch Blue Jam

2008-04-25T21:01:00.001+01:00

Courtesy of Bandmoreagain.

(Just a good excuse to watch a clip of The Actor Kevin Eldon, really.)

Media Relations for Beginners

2008-04-25T20:56:00.002+01:00

Back in the bloggosphere

2008-04-25T20:48:00.002+01:00

I think twitter stole my blog-centive for a while there, but I'm back now and in a much better mood. Here are some things that have helped:

- Seeing a happy dog smiling with it's tail up in the air, turgid with joy.
- Watching lambs frolicking like, well, like lambs.
- Watching rabbits at dusk from a train window.
- Seeing the river that runs through Newport at low tide and (inexplicably) pointing out to colleagues how disgustingly dirty it was while secretly fantasising about getting in the deep, thick, gloopy mud and hurling it around.
- Snoozing in the afternoon.
- Buying myself a subsciption to Wired as a treat.
- Getting my holiday approved for The Big Chill.
- Being one month away from spending a weekend in Tipis in deepest West Wales.

Not Blogging This Week

2008-04-22T17:20:00.001+01:00

Becuase I'm in a shitty mood.

So there.